


Some Lovely Glorious Nothing

by superiordimensions



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (I have reasons i swear), (They go to the university of virginia ok), Amputee Bucky Barnes, Biology student Sam, College AU, History of Art student Steve, Literature student Bucky, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Slow Burn, They are all assholes and its amazing, Use of poetry as flirting, don't worry Natasha will be there, road trip au, slow build steve/bucky, tags to be updated with new chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 20:00:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6921007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superiordimensions/pseuds/superiordimensions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The college semester had ended and sometimes, you just need to go on a road trip. </p><p>Or, Steve and Bucky fall progressively more in love as they travel along the east coast of America and Sam becomes progressively more done with their shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Tags and warnings will be updated as the story continues so look out for them, enjoy!
> 
> Find me on tumblr at [barneshtml](http://barneshtml.tumblr.com/)

The three sat at what seemed to be the edge of the universe. 

 

The sky stretched infinitely before tired eyes, a thin light of dusty blue was seeping along the horizon as dawn meandered closer. The silence of the diminishing night felt close as if echoing around them.The stars faded with the advancing light, they watched as the clouds were stained gold by the new sun. The colours shifted lazily, the horizon now burning with the morning light. One of the group falls back upon the bonnet of the car. He watches as his companions yawn softly, one yawn starting another. His soft chuckle being lost to the sound of the wind. 

 

‘Feeling sleepy you two?’ Bucky joked, his voice caught Sam and Steve by surprise. They had been silent for a while now. They both turned towards him, the early sun now starting to warm their faces. 

‘Of course not Buck, just enjoying the moment.’ Steve’s voice shaped by his smile, mocking himself. Bucky broke into a similar grin. 

‘You’re an idiot.’ Sam interjected. Steve drew his eyebrows together in mock offence, causing a huff of a laugh from Bucky. Steve watched him as he turned back to the horizon, from their view from the hilltop they could see the city below them begin to wake up. 

They had taken a spontaneous drive to the top of the hill as finals had finished and they all desperately needed a break. Somehow they had all managed to fit into Sam’s tiny Beetle, even with Bucky filling the back seat with packs of beer. The radio was filled with static and the ride was bouncy but they wouldn't have it any other way. 

Steve took a sip of his now warm beer, letting his thoughts drift through his head. ‘Let’s go on a road trip. Today.’ He said finally. 

Bucky scoffed from behind him just as Sam agreed ‘Alright. ’

‘What? You can’t be serious. We can’t just up and go, we have shit to do.’

‘ _Come on_ , Buck.’ Steve was getting more into the idea the more he thought about it. ‘We have finished the semester, we have a whole break ahead of us.’

‘But-wait. What about-‘

Sam put his hands up to halt him, ‘Dude, I know you're not a huge fan of not planning everything but think about it. We pack our bags, put on our favourite music and just drive. _Wherever_ we want. The three of us.’ 

Bucky narrowed his eyes, looking up at the hopeful faces of his best friends. He mulls it over, Sam was right. Bucky did not like the idea of not having a thought out plan of what to do, the idea of not being in some control freaked him out a little. But they had finished all their work for the semester and with both of them looking at him like that…

‘Fuck it, let’s go.’

Steve clapped and immediately stood up, listing off ideas of what they could do, _oh what if we went to Vermont? I hear they have good trees there- wait what about DC? I have always wanted to walk around - Sam you said you wanted to see the birds at-_ Sam stands and puts his hands on Steve’s slim shoulders. 

‘Alright, so I think it's pretty safe to assume that Steve is going to be captain of road trip activities’ Bucky snickered at his two friends.

‘Sam you make is sound boring. But if there is anywhere you guys want to go let me know, of course. Wait, guys, _guys_.’ He grew serious for a moment. ’Just call me the Captain of America.’ Steve puffs out his small chest as he says it, tilting his chin up and steeling his eyes. He holds it for all of two seconds before he burst out laughing. Sam and Bucky are too. 

‘God damn, Rogers. You’re such a dork.’ Bucky wheezed out between laughs. He pushed himself up with his arm to stand up with the others. Still laughing, he pulls Steve under his arm and messes up his hair. Steve shoved him off with a strength that is somewhat surprising for his small frame. 

After catching his breath, Steve said ‘So are we doing this?’

Sam and Bucky looked at each other with matching smiles and nod, ‘Yeah.’ 

 

They packed up their stuff and shoved in into the back seat, much to Steve’s annoyance (Bucky called shotgun this time). They made the winding journey back to campus. Sunlight was filtering through the trees and Steve’s mind was racing with ways he could best put it down onto paper when he had the time. Bucky’s eye was caught the small twitches in Steve’s hand as he traced out the shapes upon his leg. He smiled softly and turned back to the window. Traffic hadn't picked up yet so it didn't take them too long before they were pulling up into the carpark. 

‘Right, pack what you need, bring cash and we meet back here in about an hour.’ Sam spoke while looking at his watch. Slamming the car doors, they all walked to their dorms. Sam was in the rooms by the library but Steve and Bucky were in the rooms opening up onto the lawn. 

 

The room was filled with books and old paint tubes. The twin beds were on opposite sides with a gap between them, pushed up against the walls. The layouts of the different sides of the room were practically mirror images of each other, the only difference being in the type of clutter on their desks. Steve’s contained all you would expect of a History of Art major, but perhaps with even more paint.

Bucky’s half was on the right of the room, a subtle choice of Steve’s to help make Bucky’s life easier. That way Bucky could easily make the bed with his right arm, a task he always loathed since the accident that took his left. It wasn’t that Bucky hated being reminded of it, he just didn't want to need help, something which Steve picked up on immediately. As he always does.

Bucky’s side was covered in what seemed to be every book ever written. When he applied for the Literature course here at the University of Virginia, he threw himself into every book he could find. Between his desk and his bed was a very precarious stack of old, well-thumbed poetry anthologies. Resting on the top was Bucky’s favourite, the Penguin copy of metaphysical poetry he had bought that made him realise that he wanted to study literature. Sometimes he would read parts aloud to Steve. Stuffed between the thinned pages of the book were the small drawings Steve doodled absentmindedly while listening to Bucky read, each drawing relating back to the poem or simply the moment in which it was read. Steve gave them to Bucky, upon his request. To Bucky, the drawings were as beautiful as the words they lay between. 

 

 

One evening, after a particularly draining day, Bucky started to read aloud. Steve recognised the opening line immediately, for this was not the first time, and he watched closely as Bucky spoke. They both knew that at this point he didn't even need to read it from the page as he could recite it by heart. What Steve didn't realise was that Bucky was, in fact, looking at the lines of the latest drawing Steve had given him. 

Bucky’s voice was scratched and tired, but when mixed with the poem it was beautiful. 

‘Twice or thrice had I loved thee, before I knew thy face or name;’ 

Here Bucky had paused and looked up at Steve’s face. The look in Bucky’s eyes caused the breath in Steve’s lungs to hitch slightly, the quiet sound almost audible in the space between them. A faint blush rose in Steve’s pale cheeks and yet he held Bucky’s eyes. He breathed out a relieved breath when Bucky looked back down at the page and continued.

‘So in a voice, so in a shapeless flame, angels affect us oft, and worshipped be; still when, to where thou wert, I came, some lovely glorious nothing I did see.’

This was without doubt Steve’s favourite poem that Bucky read to him. The rhythm of the words as Bucky spoke, the way his eyebrows pinched together slightly on that line. Steve quickly grabbed his sketching pencil to give himself something to do. 

Bucky read, Steve drew. The words of the poem mixed with the sound of the pencil. On Steve’s page, the rough outline of Bucky’s hands holding the book began to take shape. With Steve somewhat distracted, Bucky glanced up at him through the hair that fell in front of his face. 

‘…therefore, what thou wert, and who, I bid love ask, and now that it assume thy body I allow, and fix itself to thy lip, eye, and brow.’ 

From then on, that poem always reminded Bucky of Steve for a reason he couldn't quite place.

 

In the present, Steve held up his box of paints and asked 'Do I bring all of these or just my pencils?'

Bucky straightened up from packing his bag and frowns, 'Well, it might be easier to leave them behind. If you really need to add paint then we can find you more.'

'Yeah, you're right.' Bucky smiled and continued with stuffing his clothes in a bag.

Sam knocked at the door with his own backpack just as they were zipping up their bags. A wide smile lit up his face when Bucky opened it.

'Road trip, baby!'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have so many plans for this AU just you wait and see kiddos.  
> Also, that poem that Bucky reads (and I chose the title from) is so beautiful I recommend that you read it in full. It is Air and Angels by John Donne.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	2. Detour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey begins and already there are birds, more views and a realisation.

'Sam are you sure you don't want me to drive?'  

Sam looked up at Steve from across the roof of his car, hands frozen where he was about to unlock it.  He let out a nervous chuckle, 'Nah dude don't worry, DC is only what? Two hours away? I'm good.'  

Luckily, Steve didn't seem phased.  'Alright, well let me know if you want a break.' He took a sip from his coffee. Sam continued unlocking the car and Steve slid into the passenger seat. Sam glanced over at Bucky to see him hiding his laugh behind his own coffee cup.  

'You dodged a bullet there, Sam.' 

'Man, don't I know it.'

It wasn't that Steve was an awful driver, he was just very...vigorous. Last time Sam let Steve drive they ended up halfway into a ditch. Steve apologised the entire time it took them to get the car out. So definitely, bullet dodged. 

Steve was already flicking through Sam’s old CDs to find music when Sam and Bucky got in. Thanks to Sam’s love, care, and attention, he had managed to keep both the player and CDs in very good condition (one of his proudest achievements). 

‘I can’t believe you still have so many discs.’ Bucky said as he leans over the back of the seat, peering at all the different bands.

‘Barnes, who has a car?’ Sam was staring dead ahead.

‘Ok, ok. Point made.’ Bucky fell back against his seat. 

Steve ignored them both and finally chose [a song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjFaenf1T-Y). Sam had pulled out onto the road as the opening beats started up. It fit perfectly with the bright sunny weather of the day. Buzzing on caffeine, they were all so ready for this. 

Bucky’s hand started to drum against the window ledge, soon enough he was humming along too. Steve turned his head around to grin at him. The smile reaching up into his eyes. 

‘It’s a classic road trip song, isn't it?’ 

Bucky nods bad, causing a few strand of his hair to come loose from the sloppy bun he got Sam to help him with. By the time they made it out onto the highway the song had changed and Bucky was full on drumming against the back of the seat, Steve’s usually deep voice was reaching pitches that Sam didn't even know was possible with human vocal chords. 

‘WHEN YOU SMILE AT THE GROUND IT AIN’T HARD TO TELL’ 

Sam doubted that Steve was even trying to be on key at this point. 

‘YOU DON’T KNOW’

‘OH OH’ Bucky yelled from the back seat.

‘YOU DON’T KNOW YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL’ 

Steve leaned across to stroke Sam’s face as he sings the next line. Sam gave in and started to sing too.

‘THAT’S WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL’

Bucky started to cheer and Steve pretended to wave adoringly to an imaginary crowd. 

‘Steve you truly have an amazing singing voice.’ Sam joked.

‘Sam, darling, I know. Speaking of future careers, did you apply for the job at the national park yet?’

 

Sam wanted to go into nature preservation after his biology degree, having grown up in a city he fell in love with forests when he first saw one. It was so completely different to what he knew and it was so full of life he was overwhelmed by it all. After his first trip to a park that he could remember, Sam became enthralled with wildlife. Birds were his favourite. He met his friend Clint in his biology lessons and was introduced to the community of people trying to protect the beautiful natural parks across the country. Clint brought him to a session of the Eco Preservation society and Sam felt at home immediately. Since then, he's never turned back.  

‘Oh yeah, I applied for the internship there. I didn't even know that reserves offered internships.’ 

Steve furrowed his brow, ‘Isn’t it about an hour west of here? We could go take a look around.’ Bucky brightened at the idea.  

‘Really? You guys would be down for that?’ Sam was failing to hide his excitement, he looked between Steve and the road. 

‘Of course.’ Both Steve and Bucky agreed.  

‘Alright, well then. Washington and Jefferson National Forests here come.’

Sam found the next turning to head towards the park. He hadn't had the time to go there recently and he truly missed it. Last time he was there he talked to one of the rangers about the different species of falcon for roughly an hour. 

As they drove, Bucky started to kick lightly against the back of Steve’s seat. It had been going on for about twenty minutes before Steve finally turned around. Bucky stopped and played innocent, ‘You alright there, Steve?’

Steve’s eyebrows creased into a frown. ‘Oh I’m swell, just wondering if its possible to rip the back seats out of this car. What do you think, Sam?’ 

Sam looked at Bucky in the mirror and narrowed his eyes. Bucky had a shit-eating grin on his face. ‘I don’t know Steve, we can always find out.’ 

Bucky starting kicking again, against Sam’s seat now, and chimed in, ‘It probably is, somehow. I know that you can rip the steering wheel out of cars if you try hard enough.’ He received two very strange and somewhat concerned looks. ‘Don’t ask me how I know that.’

Now the road had filled up and it was approaching midday. The sun was beating down on the earth by the time they pulled up into the Park. Sam lead them towards the welcome centre and Steve punched Bucky’s shoulder as they walked, mumbling something about payback. Inside the small cabin, the walls were covered in various posters and warnings. The entire room was a range of browns and greens, the brightest colour was the red hair of the young woman behind the counter. She told them a little bit about the grounds ( _‘One point eight million acres? Holy shit.’ ‘Shh Steve’)_ and gave them a map. 

‘…you want to look out for these types of birds, they are endangered.’ She smiled at them and wished them a good walk. The three boys thanked her and stepped back out into the carpark. They grabbed their trainers, some water, and suncream before they began to walk up the trail. 

The flowers were in full bloom and the leaves were vibrant greens. They talked about whatever they felt like as they trudged up the slight hill, their conversation interrupted every once in a while by Sam pointing out various rare species of tree. 

They had been walking for a few hours now but none of them wanted to turn back. They had gradually fallen into silence as the scenery left them speechless. They crested a hill which opened up onto a wide veranda overlooking a lake. They all stopped at the edge of a rocky outcrop. The lake stretched for about a mile until the ground slopped back up into hills. The water was still and reflected the swathes of trees surrounding it. In the shallower areas, you can see all the way down to the rocks beneath the surface. 

‘Wow.’ Bucky’s voice was barely above a whisper.

‘You can say that again.’ Sam agreed. They all were staring out across the lake. 

‘We seem to have a habit of finding amazing views.’ Steve joked. 

Silence fell again but they were not aware of it. Steve wiped the sweat from his hairline and looked back over to his friends from the corner of his eye. They didn't notice him looking and he smiled to himself. _You're really damn lucky, Rogers,_ he thought. He had turned back to the view by the time Bucky looked back at him. Suddenly, Sam pointed up at a bird that swooped low over the lake, pulling Bucky out of his reverie. 

‘Look, see? That’s a peregrine falcon. They are found pretty much everywhere. Not that rare, but they’re incredible.’ Sam continued to describe the surprisingly intricate breeding patterns of the falcons. He was standing in the middle and Steve and Bucky turned in to listen to him. Sam had now moved on to discussing what the park was doing to protect the different species of birds that lived in the area. Bucky leaned forward slightly to catch Steve’s eye, who smiled back at him. They laughed silently at their friend and went back to listening to him. Steve reached up and threw an arm around Sam’s shoulders. Well, it was a bit of a stretch but he did it anyway. 

Eventually, they decided that they should probably head back to the car and keep going if they wanted to reach DC by dark. Bucky managed to work out a short cut using the map and it took them half the time to get back to the car. Steve’s stomach made a sound reminiscent of a whale and they all agreed it was a good time to get some food. 

Sam let Bucky drive until they found a place to stop. They were halfway to DC and driving through a town by the time they saw a restaurant they were all happy with, Steve was getting more annoyed as his suggestions were turned down with the excuse ‘Steve think of your allergies!’.

Bucky pulled the car into a vintage diner and Steve all but sprinted inside. He slid into a booth with Sam and Bucky sitting on the opposite side. They all ordered the biggest burgers on the menu with different milkshakes. The waiter smiled at each of them when they thanked him for the food. He hadn't made it one meter from the table before they were devouring their burgers. They talked about everything and nothing between mouthfuls. 

‘Sometimes, food is so good I want to give up books to become a chef.’ Bucky spoke out of the corner of his mouth, not pausing to swallow before he said it. Sam nodded as he slurped down the remainder of his peanut butter milkshake. 

Steve had pretty much finished his strawberry shake within seconds of it being set down in front of him and Bucky was controlling himself from finishing his mint chocolate. Steve had begun to run the end of his straw through a rogue drop of a milkshake. He was halfway through drawing a star when Sam asked, ‘Steve, have you ever thought of becoming an artist? You know, like for a career.’ 

Steve looked up and shrugged, ‘I’m not really good enough to be paid for it.’

‘Well, that’s some bullshit right there, Stevie.’ Bucky said seriously. Sam pointed at him as if to emphasise his point without turning away from Steve, who was looking a bit startled and flicked his eyes between his two friends. 

‘It’s just a hobby, no one is going to pay for it.’ He had straightened in his seat and seemed almost confused at the prospect. Sam and Bucky made noises of disagreement before he had even finished his sentence and proceeded to take turns in explaining to Steve that he was actually incredibly talented and people would be lucky to own his art.

‘Wow, no one has really said that to me before. I never even thought about it…’ Steve sounded small and questioning. Bucky leaned forward slightly, growing serious now.

‘Stevie, you're the most talented artist I've ever seen. I don't know how you've gotten this far in your life without realising this but this is us telling you the truth. You should believe us.’

Sam looked between the two of them as the moment drew on. Neither of them had looked away from the other yet, Bucky with a soft smile and Steve looking like he was about to cry. Then, it clicked. _Oh_ , Sam thought, _well that makes sense._ He let them stay like that for a few seconds more before he cleared his throat and reiterated what Bucky said. Sam left them to go pay for the food, looking over his shoulder at them while he stood at the counter. Had it really taken him this long to notice? More importantly, he wondered, how long will it take them to notice? As he handed over the money, Sam realised that his friends were even bigger idiots than he previously thought.

He walked back to the table thinking that this may turn out to be a very interesting trip. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You would not believe the research I did for this chapter. Turns out, peregrine falcons do indeed have a very elaborate mating ritual. And yes, of course, I had them sing along to One Direction. Sue me. 
> 
> Shoutout to my pals jayy and [7thchevronlocked](http://7thchevronlocked.tumblr.com/) for helping me with the very importance decision of what everyone's favourite milkshake flavour would be. 
> 
> Any suggestions for music?
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Motel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stars are pretty, Bucky questions everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to come out! I was in the middle of my exams and didn't have any time but they finish on Tuesday so expect more frequent updates. This was meant to include them in DC but I felt guilty over taking so long :/ 
> 
> Thanks for reading x

By the time they arrived in Washington DC, night had fallen. The lights of the city and passing cars blurred in the rain drops on the window, left behind from the short drizzle from earlier. Sam was back behind the wheel, again Steve had offered but Bucky had distracted him by asking ‘Hey, is that a racoon?’ at an object that had turned out to be a sad looking piece of roadkill. He answered his own question, ‘Well, I guess it _was_..’ Once Steve had finished gagging he had forgotten all about his offer. 

Steve stared blearily out the window in the back seat as they searched for a motel to stay in for the night. The previous night’s spontaneous drive was catching up with him and he was fighting to keep his eyes open. Bucky swivelled around to ask him something but when he saw that Steve was pretty much asleep he decided against it, opting instead to place his jacket over Steve’s tiny shoulder. He spent maybe a second too long adjusting and was met with a sly grin from Sam when he turned back. 

‘What?’ 

 Sam huffed a laugh through his nose and looked back at the road.

‘Nothing, man.’ 

Bucky ignored him in favour of checking his phone. It had been the first time he had turned it on since the park, and only that was for taking some photos. He had a few messages from his sister as he told her about their trip. 

 

**From Becca:** damn bro im jealous

**From** **Becca:** here i am at school while u get to go road tripping with ur cute friends

**From** **Becca:** sam is handsome and steve is  pretty where did u get them

**To Becca:** goodbye Bec. 

**From Becca:** why must you abandon me brother

 

He smiled to himself. Bucky really did miss her while he was away, he planned to pick her some random candy from places they visited. Maybe they could even visit home? All of them were from New York so Bucky assumed they could head upstate to go to the city. He can bring it up as they get further north and tells Rebecca that he will try and visit.

Bucky wondered how things were back at home, would Ma have cleaned out his room yet? He hoped that she hadn't thrown away all the toys he and Steve used to play with. They had grown up together in the same apartment building. Sam only lived on the other end of town and they didn't meet until college. They all had the same experience of hazy Brooklyn summers when it was too damn hot to do anything. Once they became friends with Sam, stories about home brought them closer together. 

Sam had pulled into a motel parking lot without Bucky noticing. Sam nudged him.

‘Look alive, Barnes. Do you think this’ll do?’

They gave the place a once over, it seemed relatively good quality and there were no dead bodies so they decided that it would be ok for the night. Sam went to rent a room and Bucky was given the task of getting the bags, as well as waking Steve up. He loved the guy, but if about 15 years of friendship had taught him that you do not want to be the one to wake up Steven G. Rogers from a nap. 

He prodded at Steve’s shoulder lightly but received no signs of life. 

‘Steve, pal, get up. We’re here.’ 

Steve swatted at him lazily and made an annoyed sound. He tried again. 

‘Wake up, asshole, I can't carry you.’ 

The prodding had increased in its aggression and finally Steve stirred. He rubbed his eyes to get a clear look at his surroundings. He made a confused sound and Bucky explained where they were, Steve ran a hand over his face and nodded sleepily. 

Together they assessed what bags would be needed and they carried them over to where Sam was standing, his head down as he flicked through his phone. Without looking up he held up some keys, ‘They didn't have a triple so looks like we have to go in a pair with one lucky bastard getting his own room.’ He looks between them, ‘How do you want to do this?’ Sam was really trying to be subtle.

Steve offered up his clenched fist and raised his eyebrows. The other two understood and did the same. 

‘Rock. Paper. Scissors.’ Bucky held up paper, Steve too. Sam had scissors. The little shit. 

‘See you in the morning, losers.’

Before either of them could reply he had picked up his bag and was walking up the stairs to his room. Bucky looked over at Steve who was still staring as Sam walked away. Suddenly, he nodded to himself and picked up his own bag, ‘Let’s go.’

 

The room was the typical motel room. The walls were empty, and it had the vague smell of disinfectant and dust. In the corner was an old looking couch with a small coffee table. In front of the tv, which looked like it came from the last decade, was the bed. It was simple, white sheets with small pillows. Steve seemed unfazed by the lack of a second bed and dumped his stuff on one side. Bucky slowed just inside the room. 

‘Steve, pal, I ain’t gonna sleep on that couch. It looks like it would break if I looked at it too hard.’ 

Steve looked up from trying to find his toothbrush, a confused expression on his face.

‘Why would you sleep on the couch?’

Bucky shrugged hesitantly. It wasn't like they hadn't shared a bed before but wasn't that different? That was when they were younger and had collapsed, tangled together, both exhausted onto the sheets without giving it a second thought. Whether it was after playing baseball in the park or stumbling in a little drunk from one too many beers. Bucky didn't understand why he thought it would be weird, he blushed at himself. He was lost for words to explain why he had offered to give Steve some space.

‘Uh, well I guess. My ma raised me as a gentleman. I thought you would want me to buy you dinner first.’ He finally settled on. Nice save, Barnes.

Steve chuckled and threw a pillow at Bucky, which he managed to catch before it hit him in the face. ‘Get me a candy bar from the vending machine and we’ll call it even.’ 

He nodded and walked out, closing the door behind him. Bucky lent back against the door and took a deep breath. His mind was a mess. Why was he freaking out? It didn't make any sense to him. He shook himself to clear his head and headed down to the vending machine. The evening was quiet, the only sound coming from the occasional passing car. Dim light spilt out from the motel sign. 

He punched in the numbers and stared up at the sky as he waited for the candy to drop, he recognised a few constellations. The stars shimmered above him. With the candy in his pocket, Bucky allowed himself to wander further out beyond the bounds light, he was almost at the road before he stopped. _Damn_ , he thought, _you just don’t get stars like that in Brooklyn._ As he stared and stared, the words of a poem crept into his head. One by Yeats, the words and rhyme so clear in his memory he might have well be born speaking them. 

 

_Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,_

_Enwrought with gold and silver light,_

_The blue and the dim and the dark cloths_

_Of night and light and the half light,_

_I would spread the cloths under your feet:_

 

He remembered sharing them with Steve and Sam, back in their dorm, each line had been met with a soft, awed silence. 

 

_But I, being poor, have only my dreams;_

_I have spread my dreams under your feet;_

_Tread softly because you tread on my dreams._

 

The world was silent for a moment. Then, he walked back to Steve. 

 

‘Yo, Bucky. How’re you doing?’

Sam caught him before he opened the door. His voice surprisingly gentle. 

‘Oh, yeah. I’m good, you?’ They both walked to lean against the railing of the walkway, mirroring each other. Sam nodded, ‘Not bad, not bad. Looking forward to this trip.’ 

They talked of the places they could visit and the things they could see. Hands gesturing as they became more excited. Neither of them had done anything like this before so there were so many _new_ things. Bucky remembered the candy in his pocket and looked back at the door. Sam noticed and said, ‘We should get some rest for tomorrow.’ Sam managed to hide his teasing tone. Bucky agreed and they said their goodnights. Once Bucky had disappeared through the door with one last smile over his shoulder, Sam lingered for a moment to ponder on his hopeless friends. 

 

‘You took your time.’ Steve’s accent had become heavier as he lay with his head hanging down slightly off the bed, features lit up by the phone in his hand. He saw Bucky upside down as he threw the bar at him. Somehow, despite having a disadvantaged view, Steve caught it before it hit him. Bucky stopped and let out an amazed, ‘ _Dude_.’ 

They both got ready to go to sleep, sharing a sink as they cleaned their teeth. Before long they were sliding into opposite sides of the bed. Bucky said goodnight as he flicked off the lights, receiving a sleepy murmur from Steve. With the lights off, Bucky became increasingly aware of the distance between them and felt the back of his neck prickle slightly. He scowled. Hardly five minutes had passed before they had both drifted to sleep. 

 

At around 4am, Steve woke with a tightness in his chest and a burning in his throat. He couldn't breathe, panic began to rise in him. Each attempted breath, loud in the quiet room, was cut off with a wheeze while his hands scrambled to sit himself up. His shaking fingers fumbled across the bedside table trying to grasp his inhaler. He barely registered the movement in the sheets beside him as Bucky woke. Steve felt a warm hand land on his back then move to his shoulder and he spun to meet Bucky’s steady eyes, contrasting to his own panicked ones. Bucky leaned him forward slightly. After shaking his inhaler, he brought it to his mouth and breathed in. 

_In._

_Out._

_In._

_Out._

Bucky spoke the words in time with Steve’s breathing. To help him calm down, he moved to grasp  Steve’s free hand and placed it on his own chest, resting above his heart. Steve could feel each steady inhale and each heartbeat, all the while listening to Bucky murmuring those words. 

_In._

_Out._

Steve managed to bring his breathing back down to the normal rate but he was still shaking slightly. Bucky intwined their fingers and kept their hands resting against his chest. 

‘Steve? One to ten?’

It was a system they came up with when they were young after Steve had his first asthma attack in front of Bucky. Steve would either say or show Bucky the number with his fingers once the attack began to pass. One was ‘I’m fine’, ten was ‘get mum’. The precise terms changed after Sarah died and they grew up but the system stayed. It was the quickest way for Bucky to assess Steve’s condition. 

‘I’m ok- Four.’ Steve’s voice was still raspy so Bucky quickly grabbed him a bottle of water, opening the window as he walked past. He watched carefully as Steve sipped the water and rubbed circles onto his back. 

Minutes passed like that, and with them went the wheeze in Steve’s lungs. The world outside the window was showing the first hints of dawn. Somehow, Steve had slid to rest against Bucky, both still sitting up, backs to the wall. Steve’s cheek was on his shoulder and blond hair tickled at Bucky’s neck. 

‘Get some rest, Stevie.’ Bucky whispered into his hair.

Before they had a chance to fall asleep, Bucky shifted them until they were laying against the pillows, he knew that Steve’s back would be even worse. It was a struggle with only one arm, but he managed it. Bucky lay awake for a while after Steve had properly fallen to sleep, he needed to listen to his breathing for any signs of struggle. Once he was certain that the attack had passed, he allowed himself to sleep.

He was exhausted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come talk to me at [my tumblr](http://barneshtml.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> Since this is a road trip au obviously there will be music played, so I'm taking suggestions for songs you want to be included! Leave them in the comments and if I chose your song I will mention you in the notes in the chapter (with a link to the song if I can work out how to create links in notes) as well as creating an 8tracks for the fic as it progresses. 
> 
> Can't wait to see the songs you pick!


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